The QuizPlease enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.THE QUIZAll of your information is strictly confidential. We ask for your email in order to send you a copy of your responses when you complete the quiz. It's also a convenient way to review your total numbers.Your Email: *Instructions:Rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 3 for each item based on the definitions below.1 = This doesn't apply to me at all 2 = This somewhat applies to me 3 = This definitely applies to meAfter each section, add up the scores to get your total for that section.This exercise should be completed individually. If you’re working with a partner, share your results after you’ve both finished. (Again, we'll email you a copy of your answers.) Stage 1: The Merge - Romantic Love 1. I feel like I could be with my partner all the time, and when I’m without them I miss them terribly. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.2. My partner and I can talk for hours and never get bored. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.3. I tell my partner things about myself that I rarely, if ever, tell anyone else. When I do, he/she doesn’t pull away. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.4. My partner seems to accept me with all of my flaws, and I theirs. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.5. I don’t get as much sleep now that I am dating my partner—just thinking about them fills me with energy! My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.6. I think my partner may be my perfect match, even though we haven’t been together very long. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.7. I always take longer to get ready before meeting up with him/her. I NEED to look my best! My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.8. Our sex life is fantastic—we make love more frequently and enjoyably than with any previous partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.9. My partner is so attractive that I could stare at them for hours. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.10. We have fun no matter what we are doing—even normally boring things like grocery shopping or cleaning. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.11. My partner brings out my generosity—I’m happy to spend money on them. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.12. With my partner, I’m willing to try things in the bedroom that I’ve never done before. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.13. Anytime we are relaxing, I can’t help but cuddle. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.14. He/she likes a lot of activities I’ve never tried, but I’m really interested in getting into them too. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.15. We like to “sext” and send sexually suggestive messages to each other…even during the workday. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.16. I’m seeing my friends less often because I want to prioritize love right now. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.17. I almost feel guilty when I think about flirting with other people (which happens rarely). If I had dating apps and/or files, I‘ve deleted them. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.18. I want to know EVERYTHING about him/her. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.19. After a date, I replay every moment in my head. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.20. I love to talk about my new partner with supportive friends and family members. Sometimes, even my partner has to remind me to talk about other things than our relationship. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.TOTAL SCORE for The Merge: Stage 2: Doubt & Denial - The Struggle 1. I am more critical of my partner than I used to be. Even if I don’t actually say, “I’m annoyed,” I’m sure my tone and facial expressions communicate my disapproval. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.2. More and more, he/she is criticizing me for just being me. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.3. I need my own time sometimes; being around my partner can get on my nerves. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.4. I don’t tell my friends or family about my concerns with my partner, because I’m sure we’ll move past them soon. No need to alarm my loved ones. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.5. It’s time for me to reconnect with some of the friends I put on hold earlier in our relationship. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.6. Sometimes I really want to argue with him/her, but then I remember how happy we are, so I decide that whatever’s bugging me really isn’t THAT big of a deal. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.7. When he/she complains about something small, like a mess I’ve made or something I’ve forgotten to do, I tend to take it as a personal insult. I feel defensiveness creeping in. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.8. Some of the things he/she does are just silly. Why isn’t my partner more rational about things—like I am? My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.9. I sometimes worry we disagree too much, but when I see other couples arguing, I feel a lot better. After all, we aren’t nearly as miserable as they are! My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.10. Our sex life is decent, but I keep waiting to feel the kind of passion I once did. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.11. We aren’t “sexting” each other nearly as much as we used to. In fact, our texts aren’t even flirtatious. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.12. There are times I wonder if I chose the wrong partner. But I know that’s just me being overdramatic. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.13. Our communication isn’t working the way it used to. I feel like we need to “spell things out” to each other now, rather than understand them intuitively. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.14. I think about being single more often—and sometimes even wish I was. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.15. I feel like our libidos are out of sync—either he/she wants more sex than me or vice versa. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.16. I’m less likely to spend a lot of money on my partner just for fun; now I only do so on special occasions. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.17. I’m more likely to flirt with someone else now, just for fun and to see what else is out there. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.18. I find it hard to comfort my partner when they get upset over something I personally think is no big deal. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.19. I still think he/she’s attractive, but no longer irresistible. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.20. I pretend to like things my partner is interested in and I’m a bit worried I’ll never actually enjoy them, even if I do them with him/her. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.TOTAL SCORE for Doubt & Denial: Stage 3: Disillusionment - The Frozen Wall 1. Premeditated romance is rare between us—date nights, random gifts, and other gestures of love aren’t things we do for each other anymore. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.2. I seldom feel like I’m the number one priority for my partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.3. Right now, I just need to make sure that I'M emotionally safe and happy, with or without my partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.4. Nothing new is happening in our relationship, and it’s driving me crazy! We’re tediously predictable in our interactions and routines. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.5. I don’t do everything that I promise my partner I’ll do, but it’s not that big a deal. He/she just takes it too personally. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.6. Though I feel guilty about it, I think about cheating to get some novelty and zing in the bedroom—even if it’s just one time. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.7. The only time sexual passion returns is after we fight. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.8. I’ve secretly gone through my partner’s phone, laptop, social media accounts, email, drawers, pockets, etc. to see if I find anything suspicious. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.9. It seems that we argue about almost everything. Both of us have our guards up at all times. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.10. I’m high-strung around my partner and walk on eggshells around him/her. I feel like I can’t do anything the way he/she wants me to. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.11. We keep fighting about the same thing! We think we’ve finally settled the issue and then, BAM, it flares up again. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.12. We are two very different people. I’m shocked that I didn’t see it when we first got together. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.13. I seldom hold back my criticism towards my partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.14. I don’t think my partner and I have the same moral standards, which makes me think less of him/her. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.15. I’m starting to doubt we can last. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.16. I think I still love my partner, but I’m not 100% certain. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.17. I wish my partner was more socially aware and kept his/her opinions to him/herself. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.18. My life is starting to become more separate from my partner’s; we make plans without considering each other, and the time we spend together is more convenient than intentional. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.19. We don’t compliment each other anymore. I can’t recall the last time he/she called me smart, attractive, sexy, or funny. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.20. Saying “I love you,” “I miss you,” and “I want you” have pretty much disappeared from our vocabulary. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.TOTAL SCORE for Disillusionment: Stage 4: Decision - Four Possibilities 1. I’m completely worn down from all of our fighting and bickering. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.2. I barely recall why we fell in love. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.3. I just can’t do this anymore; something has to change. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.4. The only times I have strong emotions towards my partner are when we’re arguing or when I’m emotionally breaking down. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.5. I speak critically of my partner to friends, family, and sometimes even new acquaintances. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.6. I feel that the cons of staying in this relationship outweigh the pros now. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.7. I fantasize about being single or being in a happy relationship with someone else. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.8. I play out and rehearse our “break-up talk” in my head. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.9. The stress is too much for me at all levels—mentally, emotionally, and physically. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.10. There are times I don’t even LIKE my partner, and I wonder if that will become the new norm. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.11. Most things I’d prefer to do alone or with a friend rather than with my partner, even important stuff like making big purchases or getting career advice. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.12. I’m not sure what the next step in our relationship is and, to be honest, I’m not sure I care. Whatever it is, it just needs to happen soon. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.13. When I see other people in happy, healthy relationships, it makes me sad. It reminds me that mine is neither happy nor healthy. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.14. I can’t help but look for the flaws in my partner. I never give him/her the benefit of the doubt and I’m not sure he/she even deserves it. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.15. The thought of having sex with my partner repulses me a little bit. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.16. I think I lost myself in this relationship. I need be my own person again rather than just being his/her partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.17. We don’t even argue with passion anymore. We just give up. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.18. Going to events or social gatherings together feels like a façade; we tend to take part in separate conversations. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.19. Most of our conversations are essentially small talk now⏤that is, if we’re talking at all. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.20. The tension and animosity in our home is almost palpable. I feel weighed down in my own house. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.TOTAL SCORE for Decision: Stage 5: Wholehearted Love - The Promise Realized 1. I recognize that my partner and I are separate people and we have to accept each other for who we are. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.2. I’m almost always open to having difficult conversations about “us.” My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.3. When we talk, I actively listen and seek to understand my partner’s point of view, even if I don’t fully agree with it. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.4. Silences between us aren’t filled with tension, nor do they necessarily indicate an issue between us. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.5. I’m comfortable being myself around my partner. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.6. My self-worth isn’t determined by my relationship. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.7. I acknowledge that I may have idealized love in the past, but now I see that love is more than passion, sex, and novelty. Love is also about kindness, companionship, and collaboration. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.8. I realize that our relationship will continue to ebb and flow. Someday we’ll have an argument again, but what matters is how we approach and handle the argument. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.9. We’ve had very tough times together, but I now see that we were able to build a stronger relationship from those experiences. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.10. I want to treat, and respond to, my partner with the best and most mature part of me. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.11. When we spend time apart, it doesn’t feel like a threat to the relationship. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.12. I’m not anxious when I don’t hear back from my partner right away. Instead, I feel connected and content when I see they’ve returned my call, text, or email. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.13. Our love is not a distraction from my work life or social life. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.14. I’m comfortable being with him/her around friends and going to social gatherings together. Sometimes we talk to different groups of people at the same event, which feels perfectly okay. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.15. He/she always going to have certain behaviors that annoy me, but they don’t prevent me from seeing him/her as a great partner in life. I’m now able to cope well with those small annoyances. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.16. When there’s an issue, I seek to understand how I contributed to it, rather than focus entirely on what my partner did wrong. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.17. We have a comfortable daily communication style, and we make each other laugh. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.18. I’ll introduce my partner to new things I like or find interesting, but I’m not offended if he/she isn’t as interested as I am (and vice versa). My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.19. We are affectionate, maybe not as much as when we first started dating, but we regularly hold hands, kiss, and cuddle. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.20. We tell each other “I love you,” but we don’t feel obligated to do so. My Selection: 01 = This doesn't apply to me at all. 2 = This somewhat applies to me. 3 = This definitely applies to me.TOTAL SCORE for Wholehearted LoveCongratulations . . .on completing The Love Cycles Quiz. Add up your total score for each section here. Stage 1: The MergeStage 2: Doubt & DenialStage 3: DisillusionmentStage 4: DecisionStage 5: Whole ❤️ed LoveWhichever section you have the highest score in, this represents the stage you are probably in. If you receive similar scores for more than one section, then you may be in between stages.Now click SEND below. We'll email you a copy of your responses, which will allow you to keep and review your answers and double-check your total scores. MessageSEND