Positive psychology is a new and important concept, which includes studies on happiness, gratitude journals, and emphasizing strengths rather than weaknesses. But this belief can be emotionally & psychologically harmful.
Resilience, or our capacity to withstand painful and disruptive life experiences (and even catastrophes), is taking on more importance than ever in the uncertain world we live in today. Surviving dysfunction, disappointment, and devastation in love and work has always been a part of our lives.
Marilyn Mendoza wrote: “Remember that there is no magic wand that can take away the pain and grief. The best any of us can do is to be there & be supportive.” My mother, an articulate and highly accomplished writer, began to lose much of what she valued a few years ago.
Picture this: Riding a bike with your partner, or walking your dog against the backdrop of a gorgeous sunset. There is ease, openheartedness, and affection. And then: “We need to talk about something you said at the party last week that bothered me.”
As I walked into my yoga class, I passed a close friend sitting on her mat, rocking back and forth. I saw that she was crying. When I reached out to her, she fell into my arms like a child. I suggested we leave; we went to the car, and she told me her story.
If you know a defensive person, it can be extremely frustrating. If you’re a defensive person, are you doomed to drive people away with your defensiveness forever? If you’re in a relationship with a defensive person, should you just cut and run? Not just yet.